Gym

I have, today, at long last returned to the gym. After becoming completely bogged down with working two jobs before Christmas I decided, with high dudgeon, to cancel my membership. I then made some stupid life decisions, ended up picking up too many nasty habits, and I sit here now, drenched in sweat probably in the worst shape I've ever been. 

Nevertheless, it was nice to dust off the cobwebs; especially since I've signed up to run a half marathon for cancer research this summer. It's just a shame that 30 minutes of non stop running has now dwindled down to 3 and total amount of calories burned has halved itself from 600 to 300 over the same amount of time... oh well. I always knew I'd have to make up for lost time but I didn't realize it would be quite this much. 

One thing I've noticed of late, whether it be through music TV or social media, is a new-found respect for those with curves and wobbly bits. Meghan Trainor is preaching about how it's all about that b(ass) while our tellies are covered in 'girls who can' - Sport England's latest campaign to celebrate women (apparently wobbly men don't need encouragement...) who are getting fit no matter how well they do it or how red their faces get. Which is fantastic! All they need to do now is the same thing for all them boys and girls like me who need a little more encouragement to celebrate their edges and corners. I am 6'3.5" you can count my ribs and juice a lemon on my hip bones. I hate it, but at least I can still eat like a horse while back at the gym in hopes I'll put a little meat on. 

Meanwhile I still find myself waiting for lovely police officers and pencil-pushers to tell me that I'm not a criminal so I can start my new job, the new sofa still hasn't arrived and the cat needs a trip to the vet to investigate a lump and get her pedicure. So while I'm not doing that, I look forward to a week of sweat, tears and finding out what the fuck 'burpies' are.

Wishing you warmth,

Ben

Meghan Trainor (who really doesn't need to be worrying about her weight)

Curvy not-men.